As the morning rolls off to a hazy start, I find myself seated behind the control column of a single propeller plane, thundering down the tarmac, with yet increasing speed. An odd phrase flashes across my mind, “daag!” A boisterous bellow once often heard from the lips of an eccentric German brother of mine. Brother Ilija, how’ve you been? As always, living life to the fullest, no less, I’d assume!
“Daag!”, a sound so simple, yet uttered with aplomb, masking the toils and burdens of past pains and future dues. I used to think that it was a simple slang coined by sloshed bosom European drinking buddies, shared bashfully with an Asian dreaming of global citizenship. But I’ve come to see the error of my ways. A bastardization coined by Ilija of the german phrase “Guten Tag” - meaning “good day”, said with a warm smile and a hint of an innocent shrug, seaming to suggest, “Why so serious, Sam?”
This same time, yesterday, I was wedged into the couch, irritable from the scarce intermittent bouts of rest snatched between toilet runs; having lost yet another battle with gastro-enteritis, since the pre-dawn. Seraphina had tried to wake me from a restless slumber, calling out earnestly, then impatiently, and finally shoving me irately. Regrettably, I thundered in response, and insensitively chided her for being rude.
But was she not merely struggling to move against the bulk of insurmountable momentum needed for so tremendous a task as to inject life and joy into her father grown weary from the troubles of late. Certainly it was no fault of hers; certainly the dramatic response was unwarranted, for how was she to know. As tears flowed down her cheek, the saddened expression she wore seemed to ask, “Why so serious, daddy?”
My wilful daughter simply wished in eager anticipation, just as my brothers had when they were toddlers, to rouse an unconventional ally to kick start and breathe life into a mundane day. What was I doing, again. To watch her father rise to his usual strength and nonsensical antics, was all she was truly asking, to cherish the time together, to build upon a trove of happy memories. But what I had offered was a bitter dish I myself had resented; I was most remorseful. The flashback came fast and furious, “Why so serious, kor kor?”
A decade lost yet owed to my brothers in the haunting hollow halls of a preoccupied disposition. To be there yet somewhat ethereal; missing out on life as it unfolded, simply because I was too guarded, too detached, and too self-aware to throw caution and dues to the wind. Unawake to the difference between the necessary folly of childhood and the mantle of burden that the responsibility of being an elder sibling brought.
This epiphany has cut deep, sunk in, festered, and finally done me in, and I thank the good Lord. Dense as I might be, this here theme is starting to play like a broken record, and I finally got it. “Stay awake, for the coming of the Lord is at hand.” Granted one life, live it… each moment, cherish it… , “Why so serious, Sammy?” …‘cos the beauty about the ability to laugh at oneself, is seriously simple, its simply not serious at all ;)
Take it all in stride, relax, laugh, learn, toil, and enjoy each moment, for life is often hard enough as it is, muster courage and lend strength where it’s needed, and fall into the arms of those who will champion your cause when you need it, because we quite simply cannot be infallible. “Accept the simple notion that the aircraft will settle in its course, despite pockets of turbulence and thermal gusts.”
“Offer timely decisive inputs only when necessary.” …today’s flight has been the simplest yet toughest hurdle in my bid to relinquish over-control of a life so tightly-clenched. Taking-off is the easy part; it’s the landings that we walk away from that truly command respect. Relax, it’s all in God’s steadfast hands. You live, you learn ;) Simplify! K.I.S.S. - keep it simple, sam!
