How to Market Bottled Sweat and Instant Hair Loss

Ever sat there wondering what the lastest ads at the big screens are really trying to sell? Just can't help reinventing some ads at the big screen sometimes...

"Since the summer of 1965, scientists invented Gatorade, the sports drink that has kept elite athletes going and going. Is it in you? Made from the very perspiration of top athletes, all the sweat and pain brought to you in a bottle ;)"

Then again, there're stranger ads, such as...

"Clear, anti-dandruff shampoo. Say goodbye to itchy, oily scalp, dry hair, and split-ends. Say goodbye to hair, Clear, nothing works quite like it ;)"

This is not an endorsement, nor am I suggesting the misrepresentation of the said products, but simply illustrating an example of poor advertising...